So tomorrow is the day for Astroturf-roots "tea parties" all over America--or so the right-wing blogosphere and Fixed News Network are hyperventilating, while legitimate media are, justifiably, yawning and reminding people the Post Office will be open till midnight because it's April 15. How I wish I were gifted in the visual arts---if I were, I would be madly at work right now churning out picket signs and tee (NOT "TEA") shirts bearing the following graphic: (Picture of teabag) = (Picture of bull sitting on toilet) and selling them to the real grass-roots protesters across the street from Dick Armey's Army (yeah, he's in charge). So in dishonor of this corporate, staged, flash(bulb)-mob stunt, I propose getting as hopped up on coffee (brewed, espresso, latte, instant, whatever) as possible and Take Exception (to) Armey (note initials). And for some more in the "they-can't-make-this-kinda-stuff-up" department: 1. The NY Mets' brand-spanking-new Citi Field was christened by a lead-off home run by......a San Diego Padre. Does anyone else notice the significance of the fact that Citi Field is located in.......wait for it.....drum roll.....FLUSHING???? 2. What if Rod was one of us? He'd want to get a gig on a reality TV show, of course. And (the U.S. District Court for the Northern District of Illinois willing), he will--he is set to star (at $80K an episode), inter alia, with skater Nancy Kerrigan (guess this was below Tonya Harding's pay grade?) in a show titled "I'm a Celebrity--Get Me Outta Here!" set in Costa Rica, presumably in the jungle.....or at Robert Vesco's mansion. 3. For the second year in a row, a butchered goat carcass was hung in effigy from the statue (I believe of Harry Caray) outside Wrigley Field. Guess that's why Premier Meats couldn't fulfill my order for goat loin chops.....